


Count The Missing Stars

by Leonawriter



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Allura has issues, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everything's still raw and I can't blame her for hurting, F/M, Post-Episode: s02e08 The Blade of Marmora, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-31
Updated: 2017-01-31
Packaged: 2018-09-21 01:55:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9526727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leonawriter/pseuds/Leonawriter
Summary: When Shiro comes to talk to her, she has a feeling she knows what it will be about. What she doesn’t expect is to end up crying into his shoulder.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Although this is set post-Blade of Marmora, it’s also set on a personal timeline of S2 that has a load of Team Voltron reaching out to planets in need of help (like they did in The Ark of Taujeer) before going in for the final few episodes. 
> 
> Though it's not really a big enough change that it needs a tag, I think, because it theoretically -could- fit in between episodes, if that's how you want to see it.

He found her on the observation deck, dressed in her flight suit and with her arms wrapped around her chest. It wasn't as though she'd been avoiding him as well; what would be the point in  _that_ _,_ after all? But when she heard him sigh before stepping forward again she wasn't sure that she was happy to have been found.

"I just wanted to say," he started, and she  _tensed_ , "that I understand the reason why you're reacting the way that you are. I can't say I like it, but I also can't say I wouldn't have reacted the same as I have if I hadn't remembered what I did before we found out."

"And he's your  _friend_ , yes? That's the other thing. You can't stand the fact that I can barely look at him because you can't imagine not trusting him. Isn't that right?"

She wasn't looking at him. Not looking made it easier - she couldn't see the disappointment on his face, or the frown he was most likely wearing. At some point, she had begun to hold his opinion in high regard; but this - this, she could not just  _sweep aside_.

"Well, you're right. He  _is_ a friend, and he has been for a long time now. Since before I first left Earth."

She pointedly kept her gaze fixed on a cluster of stars, and wondered if any one of them might have once been part of the constellations she had once looked up to from the flower fields she played with while growing up. Fields and flowers that were now gone, entirely. 

"But," he continued, "that doesn't mean it's  _easy._ It isn't easy for any of us. We're  _all_ having to figure out how to come to terms with this and still work as a team, Allura. So..."

Finally, she snapped and turned, eyes blazing and burning. 

" 'So' what? 'So' you want me to just  _work through it?_ For the sake of the team? Is that it? When I can't even look him in the eye?"

His eyes widened at her outburst, and for a moment her heart beat fast, wondering if he was just going to walk away, leave her alone, because she couldn't be who he wanted her to be, because she didn't fit the perfect princess she was  _supposed_ to be, and she had to wonder - what would her  _father_  think?

But her father wasn't here anymore. Not even a memory of him, aside from what she could remember in her and Coran's shared experiences. 

The Galra had taken him from them both.

"No," Shiro was saying, from right in front of her, and his hand - his  _organic_ hand - was touching her arm, where it was still crossed against her chest, lightly. "I wanted you to know that if you want to talk about this, I'll do my best to listen. It's all right to have a strong reaction, but you don't have to be  _alone_."

"No one understands," she ground out.  _I am alone,_ she wanted to say.  _Me, and Coran, that's all there is left._   _The Galra made us that way. They made us alone._ But she bit the words back. Shiro might not be Altean, but that didn't mean that his attempts were anything less because of that. "They didn't just kill my people, my  _planet._ They  _betrayed us_ , Shiro! We thought that they could be trusted back then, but all they gave us was  _destruction_." He was still there, his hand grounding her anger and rage and  _hurt_ and letting fire run its course until she realised that the sting in her eyes wasn't just from anger, but from unshed tears. "I thought I trusted them," she said plaintively. "There were Galrans in my father's court. They were in my classes. The ambassadors made faces at me when I was a  _child_. And none of them -  _none of them did anything to save us._ "

Her vision blurred even as she blinked, tears now freely running down her face as she remembered everything that she couldn't get back - an innocence she could never return to - and although Shiro's hand left, the touch was replaced by his arms coming around her in an embrace that she let herself collapse into.

"The worst thing is," she said, muffled, now more into his shoulder than not, "I can't - I can't  _help it_. I know Keith, I know that he's a good person, a good  _Paladin_. But whenever I look at him, I just remember. That I thought  _they_ were, too."

He held her tighter for just a moment, and they stand there. Somewhere in the Castleship the others are doing their own things, and yet in the here and now, with only the stars watching, she doesn't have to be strong. She can go back to being the fearless Princess of a planet only a small handful even remember in a while. But that isn't her right now, crying into one Black Paladin because of what the other had caused.

"Just remember," Shiro's saying, and while they're like this it feels strange, feeling the words through his chest as he speaks. "We aren't just a team. We're family, like Pidge said. And  _none_ of us are going to leave anyone else behind. Not even when you try."

She laughed wetly, smiling at the memory - despite the intense and _justified_  worry she'd had at the time, she'd still felt incredibly relieved to see her Paladins again, even if it was only a short time between finding them and being separated again because of the unstable wormhole.

"I will... try and improve my behaviour," she said, detaching herself and dabbing at her still-damp eyes. "If nothing else, it does not befit a leader to act the way I have been. I cannot say that things will go back to the way they were, but - I can  _try_ to be civil."

"Good," Shiro says, and she almost looks away again at the way he smiles, because a promise of  _adequate civility_ should not be met with a smile like  _that_. "They'd probably notice if you weren't being honest with yourself, you know. Lance and Hunk are surprisingly good at figuring people out."

 _Pidge being left out because she understands robots better than she does organic lifeforms,_ she noted immediately, with fondness for the smallest member of their crew.

"You have a point," she conceded. "When Lance isn't trying to flirt, that is." Shiro groaned, but at least  _he_ wasn't the one who had to deal with being the of said Blue Paladins' affections. "And... Keith?"

It shouldn't be so hard to say a single name. And despite her outward calm and confidence, she cringed somewhat inside at the hesitance in saying it.

Shiro shrugged, a fond smile of times she knew nothing about coming onto his face, and yet again she felt  _guilty_ because of being unable to stop herself from feeling angry and scared because they were now talking about someone who was  _Galra._ On their team, and  _Galra._

"Keith's... actually, he can be pretty slow at picking up on subtext and subtleties. Don't get me wrong - he's smart. Wouldn't have been top of his class if he hadn't been. But sometimes it takes being  _obvious_ to get through to him."

She nods, this time silent. She can't say she hadn't noticed that, even just somewhat. But then, she'd been trying her best to not notice the Red Paladin at all recently. Perhaps a bit too much. 

What if they'd gone on a mission and her behaviour had been picked up by the locals? What if  _she_ could have compromised relations? Even worse, what if something had come up, but she hadn't listened when she might have needed to?

"Shiro, you'd tell me if you thought I needed correcting in any way. If you thought I was being - a bad leader. Wouldn't you?"

"Of course, princess."

"Good." She nodded, looking out at the stars with determination once again.  _If anything had gone wrong, it would not have been irreparable. I have Shiro, and Coran, and the other Paladins. I am not alone._ "Good."

 


End file.
